Dream and Dreamability
by Joey 300000
Summary: The Prince Regent dreams an unholy dream of unholiness. He dreams he shall die............. Chap 3 up
1. A Most Unholy Dream

**Chapter 1: A Bad Dream**

Scene 1: The Prince's Quarters

_The Prince Regent is lying in bed. Blackadder walks in with the breakfast tray. He sets it down then tries to rouse the sleeping Prince._

Blackadder: Sir? (_He shakes the Prince)_ Sir? Sir! (_The Prince stirs then jumps up, screaming)_

Prince George: NO! THESE ROLLICKING LADIES ARE MINE! HAVE AT YOU, YOU SAUSAGE SUCKING BASTARD! (_He mimes lunging with a sword. Suddenly, he looks as one does in utter pain then collapses on the bed) _No… I cannot die… You have condemned yourself… My butler will avenge me… (_He falls asleep again. Blackadder looks on disdainfully. The Prince wakes suddenly)_

Oh! Oh, Blackadder, thank goodness.

Blackadder: Bad dream, sir?

Prince George: Erm… not sure, Bladders. I seem to have dreamed about dying.

Blackadder: Was it a dream where you were fighting over a group of ladies, and brutally killed by someone with a sword, sir?

_(The Prince stares in disbelief)_

Prince George: How in the name of Tina, the giant pixie, did you know that?

Blackadder: Well, sir, one, you acted it out in your sleep. And two, it's the same dream you've had for the past three nights, sir.

Prince George: Well, send me down the Nile in a massive box of pillows. Do you think this dream could come true, Blackadder?

Blackadder: No, sir. I have as much confidence in that as I do for Baldrick to be arrested for being too rich.

_(Prince George shifts in his bed and Blackadder brings the breakfast tray to him)_

Prince George: Good. Brekkers then! What is it today Blackadder?

Blackadder: French Soup, sir.

_(Blackadder leaves the room)_

**The**** French soup mention is for ****austenfan1990**, **whose Blackadder fanfic is lifting off the ground. **


	2. Flasheart is on his way!

**Chapter 2**

Scene 2: The Kitchen

_(Blackadder walks down the stairs of the kitchen. Baldrick is there, with three turnips.)_

Baldrick: How's the Prince today, Mr. B?

Blackadder: The same. An ill-evolved ape, who only cares about food, drink and rogering.

Baldrick: So, he's alright, then.

_(A pause)_

Blackadder: Well, I'd never say that about him. He's as alright as a deranged psychopath, who always thought he could never become any more deranged, and is still going today. He thinks his dream is going to come true.

Baldrick: Oh, my dream came true once.

Blackadder; I didn't think you were intelligent enough to have dreams Balders. What was it?

Baldrick: Well, I went sliding down this massive tube, came into a V-shaped cavern, and then was pushed out, kicking and screaming. I dunno what it was though…

Blackadder: Do you mean you were born, Baldrick?

_(Baldrick has a sudden look of wonder and ecstasy about him, then he __nods vigorously)_

Blackadder: Right, I'm off to Miggins' to buy some bread.

_(Blackadder leaves)_

Scene 3: Mrs. Miggins Pie-Shop

_(Blackadder opens the door to Mrs. Miggins Pie-Shop. She is in there, breathing heavily. She looks weary.)_

Blackadder: Ah, Mrs Miggins. I'll have a loaf of your finest bread, preferably _(he points behind the desk)_ the one with no shit on it please.

_(She does nothing)_

Blackadder: Mrs. Miggins?

Mrs. Miggins: Mr Blackadder… I've just had a visit from Lord Flasheart… he said he would kill the Prince… Then he had his wicked way with me…

Blackadder: You mean he actually fed you one of your buns?

Mrs. Miggins: No Mr. B, he jumped over the desk, then-

_(She is interrupted by Blackadder)_

Blackadder: Thank you Mrs. Miggins, I'd rather not go into detail. He said he would kill the Prince?

Mrs Miggins: _(recovered)_ Yes, he said he was on the way to the palace after stopping here.

_(Blackadder runs to the door)_

Mrs. Miggins: Oooh, are you going to save him Mr. Blackadder?

_(Blackadder turns)_

Blackadder: Certainly not! I want to watch the fat pig die!

_(He leaves)_


	3. Flasheart Arrives

**Chapter 3**

Scene 4: The Prince's Quarters

_(The Prince is lying on the sofa. Baldrick is trying to light a fire. Blackadder bursts in, out of breath.)_

Blackadder: Is... Is he here yet?

Prince George: Who Blackadder? Ooh! Is it a surprise? Oh let me guess! Is it… Father Christmas?

Blackadder: No, sir, its-

Prince George: The Easter Bunny?

Blackadder: No, sir, Lord-

Prince George: Its not the tooth fairy is it? If it is I'd better hide…

Blackadder: No sir, it is… Why would you be in trouble if it was the tooth fairy sir?

Prince George: Because I once tried to trick her. I pulled out one of my brother's teeth and hid it under my pillow. However, during the night, something happened. When I woke up, the tooth was gone but I found that I had a black eye!

Blackadder: Sir, how could something as small as a fairy give you a black eye?

Prince George: I don't know Bladders, but my brother had magically got his tooth back!

Blackadder: You don't suppose that he simply hit you in the night and took his tooth back?

_(Prince George scoffs)_

Prince George: I don't think so Blackadder, how on earth would he have got into the room?

Blackadder: I don't suppose anyone has shown you the purpose of a door, sir?

Prince George: What do you mean Blackadder?

Blackadder: Nothing, nothing.

_(An almighty crash accompanies a figure running through the double doors)_

Baldrick: I don't think that's a fairy, Mr. B

Stranger: I am Lord Flasheart the Fornicator, fit as a fiddle, and stiff in the middle!

Blackadder: Have you a tight solar plexus or something?

Flasheart: Good day Your Highness. I come to greet you, not to eat you!

Blackadder: What business do you have here?

Flasheart: That is between myself and the Prince.

Blackadder: Yes, I would normally advise you otherwise, but in this case I shall retire. Come, Baldrick.

_(Blackadder and Baldrick leave)_

Scene 5: Outside.

_(Blackadder is standing on Baldrick's shoulders staring in through a window into the Prince's front room)_

Blackadder: Perhaps I can see how Flasheart does it. Keep still Baldrick!

_(Muffled cries from Baldrick. It appears that Blackadder understands)_

Blackadder: I don't care if its past your bedtime Balders, we're staying out here for as long as it takes!

_(Through the window, Flasheart and the Prince are sitting talking to each other__. Flasheart stands and fetches some wine from the table behind him.)_

Blackadder: Aha! This'll be it!

_(Flasheart pours out two glasses and takes a large swig from his)_

Blackadder: Bugger, he couldn't have poisoned it.

_(More muffled cries from Baldrick)_

Blackadder: Its only a spider Baldrick, just stamp on it

_(Even more muffled cries from Baldrick)_

Blackadder: How could it possibly disassemble the space/time continuum? Look out Balders, its climbing up your leg.

_(A muffled scream from Baldrick ensues. The pair fall from their place at the window.)_


End file.
